How's this sound for a romance novel? A handsome cowboy rides over a hill. In the valley below he sees a lovely young woman standing alone beside a well-worn trunk. As he comes closer he realizes she has been crying. "Can I help you, ma'am?" he says, instantly captivated by her beauty and vulnerability. And she says...
"What a nice guy you are! You're a hottie, too. You'd make a great husband, I can tell. I always hoped my kids would have green eyes, and now you come along and you have green eyes. I just know it's a sign from God." At this point she pulls out her smartphone so she can change her Facebook status to "in a relationship."
You don't have to have sex to be too easy.
When a young woman's admiration is unearned, her man knows it. She's like a girl who's made a life-size mold of The Perfect Husband and is looking for anyone who will fit inside it. Flattered at first, he begins to suspect he'll never fill in the all the empty spaces. If he's smart, he knows he'll never be able to expand beyond its boundaries.
A discerning young woman knows her ideal mate won't be what she looked for as a girl. She should be looking into a man's heart and soul, which takes time. The love of a discerning woman is something a man has to earn, and when he does he feels admired in a way that goes much deeper than mere flattery.
Overly-eager young women aren't just lacking discernment, they also lack modesty. Part of modesty is keeping your body as a sacred gift, one he knows he won't have to share. But that's not all of it.
Modesty also about privacy, so he can feel safe opening his heart and mind to her without having his every thought tweeted to his in-laws, co-workers, and friends. It can mean the absence of bragging, so she won't put him in the position of defending himself, or her. And it also means humility about your blessings. He can trust a modest young woman like that to feel grateful to have him in her life.
Through social networking or gossip young men learn to stay away from certain damsels from the start. They never ride their horse down that hill in the first place. There's a reason these are never the girls that get the hero in a romance novel. If he really is a hero, he's willing to wait for the right one.